


Beer or not Beer

by atheandra



Series: Beer or not Beer (I'll change the title once it's not a spoiler anymore) [1]
Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: (I mean Loki/Thor), Anal Sex, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Awesome Frigga (Marvel), Bottom Thor (Marvel), Crack Treated Seriously, First of a series, Fluff and Crack, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Sex, Large Cock, M/M, Male Slash, Mpreg, Oral Sex, Pseudo-Incest, Rough Sex, Steve Rogers & Thor Friendship, Summary of series, Tender Sex, Thor (Marvel) is Not Stupid, Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Top Thor (Marvel), mentions of:
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 15:39:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18607498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atheandra/pseuds/atheandra
Summary: Hmm...Thor is pregnant but he doesn't know who the baby daddy is...SPOILERS OF ENDGAME INCLUDED





	Beer or not Beer

**Author's Note:**

> I'll repeat it just for the sake of it
> 
> SPOILERS OF ENDGAME INCLUDED (and to people who haven't seen Ragnarok or Infinity War spoilers too) 
> 
> This is the first part of a new series...
> 
> Which will go more into details about each possible daddies but with different endings because that wouldn't be fun...

Thor was hiding, he knew this, thank you very much, Valkyrie. 

Sure the constant run downtown to get more beer was a good enough reason to explain his weight these days, but the truth was different, so different. 

One of the upsides of semi-immortality was his youthful look, walking among mortal Midgardians he could easily pretend to be in his 30s, even though it was far from the truth as he was over a thousand years old. To each upside its downside. This one was starting to put him on edge, human pregnancy was only 9 months, apparently to Asgardians it translated to 9 years, and he was currently 5 and a half year pregnant, with a baby. Yes, he knew all pregnant person was pregnant with a baby, but it wasn’t something he ever expected to happen to HIM.

In the history of Asgard, only a handful of men had gotten pregnant, but they all had the same ability his brother did and could turn into a woman at will, he always thought their ability came from this form of magic, and no one thought to tell him otherwise. They should have. 

Now, as stated, he was pregnant and to be completely honest, he had no idea who the other father was. 

Don’t go around thinking he whored himself out or anything like that no, he had a pretty good idea of when he fell pregnant. The only problem? It had been the busiest month of his entire life, sexually and otherwise. After years of blue balls, caused by being monogamous with a woman living on another planet, he needed it and enjoyed it greatly. 

So, let’s round up the candidates. 

The first was Hulk, how could he resist his green-tinted friend when he paraded himself naked around their loft in the Grand-Master tower? Well, the answer was he couldn’t. Hulk was bulkier than him, had more physical strength and looked like he could pound him hard on the sturdy bed. Plus, but you keep it to yourself, Thor wanted to know if he was mighty enough to take that massive cock. Turns out, he was, several times even. 

The second had been Bruce Banner, once Hulk turned back into the gentle scientist, the man kept having panic attacks and attracting attention to them. At first, Thor thought a blowjob would do it and offered to arrange for Bruce to feel less shafting when wearing Tony’s pants, but on some level Bruce must have remembered Hulk’s and Thor’s fun time together, and he asked, as politely as ever, if he could have a turn with Thor’s ass too. Of course, who was Thor to deny his friend? It was purely politeness and self-preservation, nothing to do with the fact that Bruce was sexy and Thor wanted to see if he and his counterpart would act the same way during intercourse. Turns out, they don’t. While Hulk had been gentle not wanting to hurt his friend, Bruce had no such compunction as he clearly remembered Thor could take Hulk, so he would have no problem with his own cock. 

The third, well, the third was a mistake, maybe, he was conflicted about that one, it was his brother after all, sort of, he and Loki didn’t share any blood, they grew up together but how did that differ from any of the warrior three or Lady Sif? His mother, at some point, had wished for him to marry Lady Sif, even though she was like a sister to him. So, yeah, the third possibility happened to be Loki. He had been so happy to see his little brother alive and well, he thought Loki had died when Asgard exploded. And, well, he had been dead sexy in his elegant black suit, when they went to retrieve their father, he wished he could have helped Loki taking it off instead of him making it disappear. They might have roleplay, a little, Loki was back in his suit, in full control of every movement Thor made, being tender when he caressed his newest scars but rough when the time came to push his cock into him. Loki had told him he wanted Thor to remember they were both alive, and they deserved to live. 

Fourth, Heimdall, turns out, his best friend was bored and had taken a pick into Thor’s room as Loki and Thor were sleeping in the nude after another round of lovemaking. Heimdall had made a compelling argument to join in on the fun, he was happy to be reminded of his survival too, and Loki had been all too ready to agree when he saw what their usually armored friend was packing. No wonder his sword was so long… Heimdall had refused to bottom for either of them, they might have been higher than he on the Asgardian's ranking, but he was born, trained, and ordered to keep an eye on the crown at all time, and he couldn’t very well do that on all fourth with both princes being him. Not that either Loki or Thor complained about his duty-bound mind, not in the least. 

The fifth had been an annoying little man, Peter Quill, he wanted to prove he could be charming and try to seduce Thor, who after the death of his people, especially his brother and his best friend, was not in the mood. Quill, Thor knew, was not the father of his unborn child, there was no doubt possible as Thor was happy to report he had no bottomed in that situation. You don’t play the chicken game with a thousand years old God, or you’ll lose. Thor only bottomed when he wanted to, and contrary to what that month might seem like, it was a rare person who he would allow to take him in that way, having met Quill only hours before, the Midgardian was not going to make the list. Not that Quill complained, on the contrary, he invited Thor to board his ship whenever he wanted. 

The sixth, Steve Rogers, the good captain. Thor had been intrigued by the man since they met because really all he needed was to see the man’s ass, but as stated before he was in a relationship with Lady Jane at the moment and had only forged a strong friendship with the man. Things began to change for him when he saw Mojlnir move when the Avengers had been trying to lift it. Could the good captain be worthy of his weapon? If so, Thor would court him properly, as was tradition. But, it only seemed to be a fluke and Mojlnir stayed on the table, Thor had been disappointed but it easily slipped away when anger took over after Ultron attacked them. Coming to Midgard, and seeing Steve grieve the death of his brother in all but blood and his best friend, Thor spent a lot of time with him, they traded stories, hold each other as they cried at night, and some nights when the grief was too strong they would lose time in each other’s bed, allowing other emotions to take over, for a few hours at a time. 

Of course, his people had told him Hulk and Rocket were on their way to see him, and he was quick to grab a beer to explain his new figure, and it worked. Once back at the Avengers compound, he stayed well away from everyone, he pretexted his lack of knowledge in such things as time travel and technology, but really he wanted to stay away from Banner/Hulk’s strong nose, Steve’s suspicious and longing glances, or Tony’s curious mind. 

Then came his mother, she had known immediately, of course she had known, the same way she knew he was from the future she had immediately taken him to her chambers to talk it over, admitting to him his predicament probably came from her side of the family, she wasn’t the Goddess of Fertility for nothing, though she hadn’t suspected it would affect him as it never had before. She was quick to assure him of her support and knowledge of his proclivities, love was love, and the same went with sex, especially when you lived as long as Asgardians did, she informed him, much to his horror, that his father wasn’t a stranger to same-sex intercourse either, having been married to the same woman for over 2,000 years they were well aware of each other’s extramarital adventures. She also told him, after he questioned her about the other father, she wouldn’t care if the child was Loki’s, she had always known the brothers loved each other more than either Loki or Odin cared to know about, but she wouldn’t alleviate his worries and questions, only telling him he would know who the father was in due time. 

It didn’t take long for him to realize what she meant, and what a grand moment it was. It didn’t hurt either that even though he would have accepted and loved his child no matter who his sire was he had been hoping for one of them over all others. 

He looked as Steve summoned Mojlnir, creating Lightning thanks to his protective fury, and his whole face light up, he couldn’t help himself from joyfully saying, “I knew it.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it...  
> I seriously couldn't stop thinking MPREG MPREG MPREG whenever I saw Thor's belly so... This came out. 
> 
> Also, I have a massive magical power kink and Thor is hot when he plays with Lightning but when Steve did it my eyes were out of their sockets and I was kind of drooling, I think lol


End file.
